how to survive the holidays with a newborn

Congratulations on your new baby! As a mother of a December baby, I understand the courage and the divinely appointed energy that is required to get through the holidays with a newborn.

Pardon the cliche, but it truly is a magical time, especially for families with littles. The lights! The music! The decorations! The gifts! The food! The parties! The… visitors! There are endless things to dazzle and delight us, but with all that dazzling and delighting comes exhaustion and anxiety… and germs. Is it possible to get to January healthy and sane? I don’t make any promises, but these tips might help.

1. EAT! A LOT! Keep eating lots of good stuff. If you have recently given birth, you are already used to treating your body kindly for the benefit of your baby. Continue to eat plenty of high quality foods; this is not the time to try to rush back to your pre-pregnancy body by cutting back on healthy calories. You’ll need all that nutrition to keep your immune system strong during the next few weeks. Keeping your body fed with healthy food will help prevent the psycho-binge that we fall victim to when we get hangry.
2. TAKE A WALK! If your OB or midwife has cleared you for activity, get some exercise. In addition to the obvious physical benefits, exercise can help keep you mentally clear and strong. And light to moderate exercise can help strengthen your immune system and keep you strong for the germ fight ahead. Getting some fresh air can invigorate and energize you, and gentle yoga or stretching will make you feel like a million bucks.
3. TAKE A NAP! For real. Take a nap. Like now, stop reading this and close your eyes for a few minutes. I’ll wait... There, does that feel better? A 15 minute nap can help clear your mind and improve your mood. Look for and create opportunities to rest your body and eyes and mind for a few minutes, and take naps without guilt. After all, this about being the best mom you can possibly be, and there’s no guilt in that!
4. BE A SELFISH CONTROL FREAK! Your baby is your baby and no one is entitled to hold, touch, or kiss (eww!) your baby unless you deem them worthy. How do you know who is worthy? If they show up to your house with food and leave with the trash, this is a good indication that they are worthy. Anyway, the neighbors and the sister-in-law’s friend’s cousin and the preacher and the random old lady at Target (precious as she is), these people are *not* entitled to give their icky germs to your tiny, vulnerable baby. Repeat after me: Please don’t touch (or kiss) my baby. No explanation needed; it’s your baby, and it’s not impolite to deny someone else’s invasion of your baby’s space.
5. SAY NO! Yes, it is ok to say “no”, in fact, it is healthy self-care to skip some of the parties and social engagements and to stay home and snuggle with your brand new little one. It is ok to say “no”, in fact it is a wise protective measure to decline visitors and company to your home. I promise, the people who love you will invite you again if you miss their party, and the people who love you will gladly wait until your baby is a little bigger and stronger before they insist on a visit. Saying “no” to some things will help you stay sane and healthy, and may protect your breasts (see bonus tips below!)
6. SAY YES! All those people asking what they can do to help you? Allow them the blessing of helping. They can do all the things… get the groceries, wrap the presents, mail the packages, fold the laundry, prepare the teacher gifts, take the older child to the park, make the dinner. The people in your life who love you will gladly take care of all the things while you take care of 1-5 above. When people offer to help, say yes!

Bonus tip for breastfeeding mothers!

1. During the busy holiday season, it’s easy for moms to lose track of time and get distracted and busy. When this happens, feedings can easily be skipped or delayed. It’s easy to skip feedings by accident, when the baby is being passed around to all the relatives, when you’re out and about doing holiday errands, when you’re at a holiday party and time gets away from you. Missed feeds can lead to pain, engorgement, and even mastitis! Try very hard to avoid missing feedings, or pump if you are separated from your baby during meal time.
2. If you start to feel like your breasts are getting painful, or if they are red or warm to the touch, or if your baby is having any trouble latching, take a day off from all activities, get some rest at home, offer unlimited breastfeeding to your baby, and call your doctor, midwife, or lactation consultant for help.